Puddin' Is the Wish, Right?
by Patricia de Lioncourt
Summary: Harley was through. Done. Over. And Joker was gonna pay for her broken heart.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Batman. Buffy belongs to Whedon, and Batman belongs to WB, DC Comics, and Kane. No money made.

**A/N:** It seems I just keep pulling some of these stories at random. The setting for this, concerning Buffy, is Pre-Series, I think. Anyhow, Please enjoy!

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**Puddin' Is the Wish, Right?**

"Anyanka, Protector of Women Scorned, I summon thee," Harley said, tossing the bundle of herbs into the fire.

She dusted the dried bits of the herbs on her gloves off, placing her hands on her hips.

"Yeesh," she muttered. "These old spells sure were wordy."

"Well, I didn't write them, but I'd have to agree," voiced the new arrival.

Harley jumped, squeaking a little as she did, and whirled. Standing at her back, was a woman, her face hidden in the shadows of the dark corners of the abandoned warehouse Harley had chosen as her setting. There seemed to be nothing elaborate about the woman, dressed simply in a green skirt and off-white blouse. Harley could just barely make out a small pendant on a gold chain about her neck.

Harley cocked her head to the side. "Are you Anyanka?"

The woman stepped into the light, and Harley retreated a few steps. Her face just… it wasn't right. It was bumpy all over, her eyes were unnaturally dark, and there were bright, blue veins visible just under the surface of her skin.

"You know that I am. What is your wish?" she asked, her voice deep and guttural—like her vocal cords had been rubbed with sandpaper.

Harley pursed her black-painted lips, pressing an equally ebony glove to them. Her other hand crossed just over her stomach as she tapped her toes, the sound echoing off the cement floors and metal walls.

"I'm still thinking on that," she said. "I mean, it's gotta be _good_. What he did was unforgivable!"

Anyanka arched a brow and inched a bit closer, her lips curled into a sinister smile.

"Bad boyfriend?" she asked.

Harley frowned, and her eyes began to well up with tears. Her lower lip quivered, and she rubbed quickly at her eyes, sniffling once. She nodded.

"Puddin' forgot. Can you believe it? He _forgot_!" she said, stamping her foot. "Three years, today, we were together. And not a peep. Not one single "happy anniversary," nada. Well, I've had it."

Anyanka moved a bit closer, leaning in to stare at Harley's face. Harley pulled back a bit, staring at the demon.

"Whatcha doin'?" the jester asked.

Anyanka pulled back and waved her hand. In a flash, all the white paint, dark shadow, and black lipstick was gone from Harley's face. Underneath her right eye, clear as day, was a huge, purple and yellow bruise. The demon shook her head.

"Is your missed anniversary _really_ what you're angry about? Maybe a nice pox will help him control his temper," Anyanka suggested.

Harley laughed, waving her hand dismissively. "This? Nah, that's just a love tap. It's nothing."

Then, slowly, reverently, she lifted her hand to the mark, touching it tenderly. She sighed, her face saddened.

"My puddin' loves me. He does. I just can't understand why he didn't remember," she groaned.

Anyanka shook her head. "And he needs to pay. What would you like? Boils? Bugs? Boils and bugs? Penis falling off?"

Harley made a noise that sounded like "eep!" and shook her head.

"What? No! I could never hurt my puddin' like that!"

The demon threw her hands up in a move that looked like she had given up. "Okay, then. What would you like?"

But it seemed that Harley didn't hear her. She had her back to Anyanka, her hand to her lips again in thought.

"I mean, maybe he had a good reason to forget," she muttered.

"I doubt that. From what I hear of the Joker, he's a selfish toad," Anyanka interjected.

But the demon went unheard.

"Maybe Batman came after him. Oh, my poor Mistah J! Oh, or maybe he's got something big planned. Yeah! Maybe it's a surprise! Like, maybe he has Batman tied up to a thousand whoopee cushions all set with explosives set to go off just as I arrive. Oh… how romantic!"

Suddenly, Harley whirled, waving. "Sorry, chickie, I've got to go! I've been all wrong about this. This is a plan, I'm sure of it! Buh-bye!"

Blowing a kiss, Harley bounded out of the building. Anyanka rolled her eyes.

"Sure you don't want him turned _into_ pudding?" she called after.

When she got no response, she sighed.

"Whatever."


End file.
